I've been saying for years that the Internet is too slow. Right now, it takes at least an hour for me to download an illegally pirated movie. I can't think of anything more backwards and unjust. So it's with great pleasure that I announce to you the coming of “The Grid,” a new computer service designed to make Internet connections 10,000 times faster than broadband. Have I got your attention? Good. Come join me inside.
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